Pavor nocturnus

Whispers rattle through deadened doors;
feather-tipped tongues
that roll and spit
insects in amongst the bark.
The minute hand jars against my ear
like sandpaper.
The once damp linoleum cracking,
as my clawed talons
snarl and tear.
Rising to meet reflected cavernous eyes;
bloodied lips.
I can do nothing other than stare as
the mirror stains with blocks of black,
devouring my reflection
until I contort; disappear.
Ceasing to be before my eyes.


He sleeps beside me does not know,
my heart bleeds profusely a sickening glow.
And while he wakes I do caress,
knowing the heart loveless no less.
A tortured statue I have become,
his lack of love decants the rum.
Strength I wish, hope to forget,
tears fall in seclusion I can’t beget.
He holds me dear alone a friend,
rose amends, his lips he send.
Such a delicate embrace is this reality,
or attempt to please misguided charity.

A futile perception of past perfection.
A rampant resolve for resurrection.
The will of its nature consumed by yearning.
A terrible foe, a raged heart burning.
Apathy adorns the edges of its unsheathed sword.
Mercilessly slashing all screams ignored.
An imagined look the devils hook impressions never fading.
His brilliance of mind make my heart unkind.
Undiminished and unfinished loves poison courses.
Its presence inspires its friction mind fires.
Flashbacks of binding brilliance.
Remembered laughter and love fortifies resilience.
The life yet lived, wasted wanton.
A mind entrapped, the bindings strapped.
Where's the corner for the turning.
To resolve the loss the heart must cross.
The river it bleeds from yearning.


Stay here, so I can breathe
Love me while I seethe
And sink down below
No strength left to row

Hard to see
Your empathy
But I'm clouded
In my world that stays shrouded

It's mystery
Why beg for the life of me
I'm alone, and cold
No hands left to hold

I'm sick, with my head in my hands
Lost in life's sinister strands
Web of lies, or love
What difference is there, crow or dove

Am I wandering down
To the bottom, left to drown


Lucky me. I had night terror tonight. Haven't had one for a few months though. Guess I was due.

Lying bare and reasonably comfy
My eyelids felt heavy and closed
My brain shut down and the show began
Pictures of all I fear
Horrific things only my mind could conjure up
A crumbling mouth exhales
Hot breath on my cheek
A foul stench and taste of rot
A loose lipped reflection
Empty gums spattered with blood
The stumps that never grow back

Raw emotions, vanquished hope,
sore muscles, slippery slope.
Shallow breath inducing sweat,
freezing cold, completely wet.
Fear fuels desperate crawl,
twisted spine, contorted ball.
Cursing dark, pitiful cry,
crawling skin, desperate try.
Faintest light, hypnotic pull,
tears gathering, eyes overfull.
Slithering serpents haunt sleep,
fangs injecting poison deep.

Imprisoned by my own fears
It saw right into my brain
Frozen in time
Left to chunder and choke
My mind screams
Trapped in the horrors of sleep


Sin Between the Sheets

Written spring of '09

Touch, sweat, sigh
Fingers race against my thighs
Inhale, exhale, high
Nails tracing down your spine
Twist, pulse, heat
Skin to skin we meet
Writhe, lust, lead
Sin between the sheets

Don't Get Too Close

Written spring '09, and that is a picture of me from the same time.

Sitting on her bed
Half empty
Half dead
The setting sun reflected in her hair
She could almost be beautiful
Almost be perfect
If you don't linger too long
If you don't get too close

Fall Apart Together

Written spring of '08

we dance to the rhythm of destiny
sing to the harmony of fate
stumble forwards always looking back
happiness became a forgotten dream

we held each other close
a million miles apart
fell asleep to dream of better days

awoke to find...
... we still hurt
... we were still alone

every fake smile
an attempt to comfort
our screaming souls

every kiss
to believe our pretense

we could have loved each other
but history stole our hearts
so we stay together
in silence
only ourselves for company
two broken halves
that won't make a whole

sometimes we walk away
but we always find our way
to where we began

to fall apart together

Lust Electric

Written summer of '08. And yes... I do own a pair of these boots.

Lust Electric
Gentle Nibble
Delicate Flick
Juices Trickle

Tender Mouthful
Indulgent Sips
Spasms Sinful
Gyrating Hips

Thrusts Entrancing
Feverish Pace
Teeth Caressing
Deadlock Embrace

Lust Electric
Flesh Metallic


Written summer of '08. No wonder I got pregnant this summer after years of trying...lol.

in her depravity
flesh versus leather
with quivering lips
with her juices
eyes closed to the world
he grants her release
saliva and ecstasy